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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

I’d like a pet person

Litterally,

A pet person.

They’d have a cage if they were bad

They’d go around my house completely nude, all of the time unless I have company

We’d play around

And they’d be a human, so we’d ‘play around too’

And we’d cuddle

And I’d pet them

And they’d get rewards for being good

And they’d call me master

And they’d wear a collar, and maybe a tail

And I’d give them baths

And take them for walks in the back yard

And I’d let them sleep on my bed with me if they behave

And they’d eat like a normal person

And we’d go out like normal people

But at home they’d be my pet.

Pros and Cons of dating me

Pros:

-I’m a kinky fucker
-I love foreplay
-Cuddling is the best
-I’ll never cheat on you
-I’ll destroy those who stand in your way
-I like animals
-I’ll try anything
-I can draw so/so
-I’m good with a gun
-I know a couple Zippo lighter tricks
-I am a somewhat okay IT guy
-I’ll play with you
-I won’t eat the last slice of pizza
-I’m considerate
-I am a pretty decent cook
-I’m very flirty

Cons:
-I am sort of annoying
-I am an insomniac
-I talk loudly
-I suck at long distance relationships
-I message people too much sometimes
-I curse like a TruckDriving-Sailor